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The 7 stages of dry January
Jan 23, 2018
We salute the gin fans that are nearly at the end of this wretched month - what you're doing is truly admirable.
Some have tried, some have failed and some are (believe it or not) still going! Whichever stage you are at, great work...you're a better person than us...
Enthusiasm
It's January 1st, you've drank all the gin in the house over Christmas and you are raring to go! 31 days? Pah! Easy.
Confidence
This is going to be amazing! The weight will drop off, Sunday morning jogs will be your favourite past time and you won't miss gin whatsoever...not one bit...no siree.
Smugness
You shake your head in disappointment at all the hungover gin fans struggling through Sunday. You pity those who count the hours down to happy hour on a Friday and scoff at those queuing for a doner in the early hours.
Boredom
Sunday morning jogs aren't as fun as you thought hey? You sit and watch the rest of the office head out the door to the pub on Friday and feel like the outsider...humpf.
Temptation
If you accidently have a sip of your mate's gin and tonic, thinking it was lemonade - does that count?
Bargaining
In reality you were never going to stay off the gin for the WHOLE of January right? Surely your liver has regenerated itself by now? YOLO? Right?
Lying
No one needs to know that you whispered to the barman to slip a little gin into that tonic? And what goes on behind closed doors is no one else's business (when we say closed doors we mean that G&T that you just smuggled into the toilet cubicle).
Submission
Nevermind...there's always next year...
